Video Creator’s Channel Chris Williamson

Looking Back At Your Period Of Non–Monogamy Now As

a happily married man woman of your dreams does that reframe that sort of experience do you have a different sort of view of non–monogamy Generally now was it just part of a journey where’s your head space out with that it’s it was definitely part of a journey. It’s definitely part of like a deep learning practice. I mean we all have jealousy to a certain extent you know it’s just inherent and if you think you’re not jealous. I dare you to get into a non–monogamous relationship where your sweetheart is getting bleep by somebody else in your home alone and just imagining what’s happening like if you can do that like bleep get an ashram somewhere like I don’t I don’t know I don’t know what it takes to be able to handle that but you know so. Confront the dragon of your own jealousy like the the thought of me being jealous in my current relationship now with Mylana is absolutely preposterous because I’ve lived in the worst case scenario, you know like I’ve lived the I’ve lived the absolute nightmare of of you know Jealousy so many times that I’m liberated from that it’s just not in the it’s not in the spectrum of possibility of what I would actually worry about and that’s the that’s one of the beautiful things that you’ll get from it and that’s what happens when you go head first into your deepest fears or your deepest challenges It’s like the ayahuasca of jealousy right you’re bleep you’re in it so that’s beautiful it’s also beautiful that I mean I got to experience so many amazing people and actually I was only able to meet my wife and become friends because.

I Had The Freedom Of A Non-Monogamous

container like if I wanted to go out on a friend date or whatever with Vilana like. There was never any question because I had multiple other girlfriends, so it’s not like there was an issue. You know like I was really free. So I think it’s it’s a great path to overcome jealousy. It’s also a great path.

If Youre Not Quite Sure I Loved

Whitney a lot but it something wasn’t just quite right. You know she’s amazing Whitney‘s bleep incredible, but it wasn’t quite right for either of us and we’ve both actually subsequently after since splitting you know we’re still friends but both of us have really come into our own in a beautiful way. She’s a country singer now you know and she’s like using her voice and she’s recording songs and songs are amazing and i’ve always. wanted to sing, but in our relationship it just that never emerged like there was ways in which we weren’t clicking for each other’s future, so the fact that we chose non–monogamy was perfect because we were both free to explore different people and learn different things and it was it was beautiful. I got to meet some amazing amazing humans.

You Know Stephanie And Savannah And Maya And

so many like awesome people that I’m just so grateful that I got a chance to experience so that you know there was those are the benefits of it. We also made a lot of mistakes. One of the things that non–monogamy requires is perfect blisteringly honest communication like any little way in which you’re withholding the truth becomes explodes into a nightmare. So it’s also great for practicing your honesty like you really have to if you have feelings for. Something you feel something you have to express it because the only safe place you have is the truth and as soon as the truth gets a little twisted.

Everything Is In Question And Nothing Makes Sense

and you’re just lost. So it’s. It’s kind of a forging process. Can I see it as a viable long-term solution. I can, but it requires the very best.

It Requires A Group Of People

who are out there operating at their very best in in heart and mind and spirit and I think it can be a really beautiful sacred non–monogamous union. I was never. I was never quite good enough to be honest. I was never able to really get there and I tried. I tried hard.

• monogamy requires perfect blisteringly
• monogamy happily married
• jealousy certain extent
• view non monogamy generally just
• jealous current relationship

Eight Years You Know I Gave

it everything I got. I was not the type of person that was capable of holding that indefinitely. My jealousy I never got to the place of compersion, which is getting pleasure from someone else’s pleasure sustainably. You know like if Whitney’s having a orgasmic blissful experience with with another lover. I was never like Oh babe I’m so happy for your orgasmic blissful experience.

Oh Are Those Hand Print Bruises On Your

ass it must have been passionate passionate when he was spanking you that hard. I I’d love that you were that into it with him. No I was never like that I wanted to vomit you know. I just I couldn’t do it. You know so but that doesn’t mean that it’s not possible to do you know it doesn’t mean that my failures mean that the the whole construct is flawed because I think the construct is beautiful, but for me it was just too hard.

I Think Theres A Definitely A Difference

in. My mind between using it as a tool to prepare yourself for a potential future relationship and attaching your colours to the mass pole and saying Right. This is me for the remainder of time in my experience spending a lot of time around a lot of people. You need to be an incredibly unique individual for that to be the right path for you to go down long term. I mean even for you to go down it for two weeks.

You Need To Be A Pretty Unique Individual

um but for you to be able to look back after potentially an entire lifetime of non–monogamy and say yes that was the right choice. I think that you have to be very very a significant outlier, and I also think that there’s probably far fewer people than actually think it and what’s reassuring to hear what’s kind of nice. From yourself is that look like this is something that you can perhaps consider or try or look at but it’s not it’s not for life You’re not married to the non-monogamy for life you know if you if you want to bail out if you want to make an exit plan At some point you can do that and yeah one thing that I had in my mind is it so you’ve mentioned about the fact that the Jealousy was something one of the sort of key emotions that you struggled with and that this was kind of like exposure therapy for jealousy turned up to a million. Is there any part of you that has echoes of that because that can be so traumatic to the point where it starts to embed a habit. It starts to embed a routine that the jealousy actually starts to rear its head and it’s got all of this foundation and this power and this velocity behind it because look at all of the things that you’ve done in the past Do you ever notice that do you ever feel that you know the the thing about it is the jealousy.

I Think Jealousy Becomes Really Toxic

when it’s imagined right like imagined Jealousy you you’re just thinking and you’re you’re waiting for this dishonest way in which someone is betraying you is that because you didn’t know do you think that’s because of the shame or the guilt around the fact that you know that it’s it’s this part of it that’s not true and that there’s almost a little bit of it that’s making it your fault if the jealousy doesn’t actually exist if there’s no real. reason for it to be there the shame because it’s you that’s causing it yeah I think that I think that’s a factor. I also think that that’s like that’s the difference between polyamory and just a regular relationship where you’re jealous a lot of times in a regular relationship where you’re jealous you’re just creating all kinds of fantasies of things that are not real and so you pattern this fantastical creation of these jealous circumstances. You know this is what you see all the time were you looking at that girl where do you have what what what are you? What are you doing with that trainer. You know like do you like him you’re like Blah Blah like no he’s just my friend like Blah Blah Blah because you’re creating all these fantasies the the beauty of what I experienced was it was all real like she.

Was Really Having Blissful Orgasmic Experiences

with men for real and would tell me about it as you know because we’re honest and then she was really falling in love with her boyfriend Ricky and really like all of these things were really happening so while it was hard. It was honest and I think anything that’s hard and honest is productive and not traumatic. It’s just productive right it’s just it’s kind of like going into a sweat lodge like I don’t know if you’ve ever done like a really intense temescal or sweat lodge nope pitch dark you know you’re in there three hours no water it’s just prayers and heat and they’re pouring water on these steaming rocks and you feel at certain points if it’s a hard lodge like I don’t know how I’m going to survive this like I don’t know this is so hot. And I’m so thirsty and I’m and I’m like just overwhelmed with this and if you’re with a real master, they know where the edge is and they never obviously push it and of course you could wave the white flag.

• monogamy
• monogamous
• jealousy
• polyamory
• adultery

Im Not And They Always Make Allowances

for that because it can be dangerous, but ultimately that’s a super challenging experience but you never leave that traumatic you leave that exhilarated because it’s honest you chose it. You know what it is and you endure it and you come out and you’re you’re like rebirth from the fire and that’s kind of the way that it is with polyamory. It’s like it’s real it’s like a sweat lodge like you know you know when your partner is with that other person you know and you know what’s how you know what’s happening and what’s happening is worse than you. Hope but not as bad as you fear right always always that’s like the universal rule.

Its Worse Than You Hope But Not As

bad as you fear, but if that’s where it’s gonna that’s what’s happening and and so it’s it’s intense but it’s not traumatic. What’s traumatic is is like discovering an adultery. You know like my my wife, my wife had a lot of trauma not she was not she was monogamous, but on two of her birthdays. She found out that her boyfriend had impregnated another woman that he was seeing on the side the same boyfriend two different ones.

Two Different Boyfriends Both On A Birthday

both on her birthday. What are the bleep chances of that that’s right yeah happy birthday. I’m not going to be here because I’m getting an abortion with this other girl that you didn’t know I was seeing bleep.

Summary

Looking back at your period of non–monogamy now as a happily married man woman of your dreams does that reframe that sort of experience . “It was definitely part of a journey.& Confront the dragon of your own jealousy like the the thought of me being jealous in my current relationship now with Mylana is absolutely preposterous because I’ve lived in the worst case scenario . Jealousy is just inherent and if you think you’re not jealous.& I dare you to get into a non-monogamous relationship where your sweetheart is getting bleep by somebody else in your home alone and just imagining what’s happening like if you can do that like bleep get an ashram somewhere like I don’t know what it takes to be able to handle that but you know so. I’m not sure what it’s also beautiful that I got to experience so many amazing people and actually I was only able to meet my wife and become friends because I had the freedom…. Click here to read more and watch the full video