Video Creator’s Channel Chris Williamson

Look Youre Not Alone.

You know I think as you were to split my depression is feel so personal and all of her stories feel so personal. I wanted to say like look you’re not alone. You’re reaching out to me for advice I go through the same thing and then but this is what I do to get over it. This is what I do to get better again and again I returned to the same thing and look I’m the guy who came up with this and look I stopped doing UK got lazy and and then you know when something hard happened.

I Kind Of Fell Apart Right

and talk about embarrassing talk about feeling shame. You know like I’m supposed to be the guy yeah well. I never sent out to be the guy, but like I wrote the book on it right and like that. was from my experience and I wrote it from my experience and so I want to share that as well like look like we will there times when we when we fall, what do we do we step up again and knowing what works and we do it again let me go back at it that’s part of life Ladies and gentlemen welcome back. I’m joined by Kemal Rava can come all welcome the show thanks for having me absolute pleasure to have you on man.

• depression
• single
• split
• talk
• heal

I Feel Like Were Gonna Have Something Really

special in front of us today. I hope I hope too I hope so too man hope to live up to it. Ya know so first things first you had a bit of a turn recently and you you were dead for a bit what yeah for a bit. What happened this is about two and. A half months ago, I was I went in for elective surgery just to fix an old old injury and that involved like moving some arteries around and like tweaking arteries and right before being.

I Was Being Discharged From The Hospital

the main artery. They worked on the the sutures came off so the whole thing burst and I basically bled to death and the other thing that saved me was I was still in the hospital and I was and at Bert were so hard that pulled up at my body and then burst out of my body. Not out of sutures just from the force of the blood And the only thing that saved me was I was spraying blood everywhere and so you can tease you a little bit like a garden sprinkler system but just hey. You know that’s that’s a great analogy that’s and you know what our artery goes It’s a one-way street. You know in a real artery goes just a one-way street and and they managed to get me right away into an UK and go in and and you know fix it and it was a rough experience man and like I literally was gonna experience the whole like you know like this is it your brain just goes into primal mode and because it’s trauma.

Its Not Like And Theres Nothing Peaceful About

it. It just goes through the images and feelings and emotions and just like horror because you mind’s not designed to see blood spraying out of your body. Like in large amount and and you can feel it. You can feel yourself like shutting down. You can feel very quickly like just the vitality or whatever just.

• feel personal stories feel personal
• reaching advice thing better returned
• fell apart right talk embarrassing
• look reaching advice thing better
• split depression feel

None And Youre Never Been Thinking

those words It’s looking back that I’m adding words to the experience. There’s no real words that really happened. It’s more like emotions and images and there’s a few months ago so you know as we tried it before the podcast. Now I’m healing and I’m rebuilding my body and and yeah so it was a bit of a turn with a bit of one that I wouldn’t recommend if you can avoid it. You know can I ask where it was coming out of you where was the incision lower abdomen okay so like right in the alien vs.

Predator Like Kind Of Like That The

most obvious place for it to happen as well man what a what a terrifying experience are supposed to have when you are on the cusp of releasing a piece of work that you feel is so. valuable and you’ve worked towards for so long was that will you cognizant sufficiently cognizant to think like not now now you’re just your brain just doesn’t know what to do I mean in trauma your brain just doesn’t know what to do it goes into primal mode just feelings and emotions and images of who’s important to you comes up real fear I’ve never tasted real fear in my life that was a real fear came up because it’s like this is it and then it’s hot and it’s a horrible way to go and and so there were no cognizant thoughts. Oh. I have this left of that left none of that regrets of the dying any of that because it was too fast so but what was interesting was the book when I get out of it and I I was in the hospital for a while. You know in severe narcotics and healing and just to get out of the hospital hospital is a terrible place at this man like you’re you’re healthy guys He’ll get a kick out of this like I mean hospital food in the u.

S.

it’s like it’s designed to give you diabetes You know like I was I was refusing their meals and they were like why I’m like hey take a look at what you’re giving me you know what it’s like how is this gonna help my body heal like giving a you know a bagel a piece of cake and orange juice it’s like the it’s you know you’re literally the design to give you diabetes you go in healthy and you come out with diabetes. I was literally like and they were they couldn’t understand why I was skipping meals. I was like I can’t eat this. Garbage like I my body needs to heal and so I got out of the hospital.

I Think A Week Later And

I was an immense amount of pain and I was in severe narcotics for a week and I was supposed to be on much longer. You know the surgeon said to me look if anyone qualifies for these drugs. It’s you you’ve had like you view your your you know your body me you need it you’re in a lot of pain and but a week later when and look they definitely helped they make things easier. You just kind of like a lie around and you know in pain but you can bear it and you’re kind of like it and I kind of like floating not even floating but it’s like it definitely helps and a week later. I have enough cold turkey now why I didn’t need to go off cold turkey.

I Mean I Could Have Weaned Myself

off. I could have been on them longer and I’m a cold turkey and I was in a lot of pain was because I turn in the final draft of this book to the publisher and now they were sending me the proofs when they lay it lay it out on the page and things get changed. Then you know they’d been to copy at us and this and I had to go through and review the proofs now if I didn’t if I didn’t do them like no one cares as much as the author does you know. I carried down to every single comma. I care about the feel of the words and in the mind right and so I had to and I realized I.

Was Trying To Do With Narcotics And

I couldn’t my brain was too slippery like I’m, I mean I guess I couldn’t nobody well. My brain wasn’t on it right so I went off him and I had something bigger. I had something bigger than my pain to focus on that was more important than the pain. So I just went off woman and I worked on the on the galleys word by word by word and like the next one would come and I would work in a word by word by a word and it was something more important than what I was going through in the moment and it was an amazing lesson as well. You know.

I Remember I Wrote A Little

Instagram post about it called purpose is bigger than pain and as a bunch of people reached out to me privately it said like look I was. I was hooked on narcotics, opioids and and eventually took like me getting involved in something caring about something that helped me get out of it. I had one person got very very mad and said you don’t understand you know like this and you know I was just sharing my experience and I really do believe that look you know that’s what made me go off him so anyway that was the experience with the book, but so it wasn’t in in the moment as I was dying. You don’t have that you don’t have time for that when you when it’s like a really fast thing, but it’s like a really fast sudden completely unexpected.

Thing What We Think And I Think

because the way it’s dramatized in movies right it’s like there’s gonna be this moment where I’m able to reflect the Epiphany will come and I will be able to appreciate all the things. You know if someone has a near-death experience which is I mean you are to beyond death experience like if they have the it’s dramatized and we get this impression that’s what it’s gonna be It’s gonna be a beautiful thing because I mean I think it could be if it’s but I think in trauma it’s different your brain just goes into like primal brain because I’ve had time we sit back and think about it you know and and it literally was it was just you’re going into shock and horror and and feelings and emotions and realizing your brain doesn’t go this could be it your. goes this is it and so it’s like literally trying to stop it and there’s nowhere to stop it. You know how much please.

I Didnt Count, But They Told Me A

lot too significant income amount. I mean I was spraying blood everywhere and sick till the time that govern you are you know and and-and it pulled up enough to burst out of the body, which tells there was already a lot lost you know so I’m still quite anemic my body’s still making red blood. The red blood cells so managing levels come and go but I’m getting better. I’m taking iron supplements, which I’ve never had-and eventually eating a lot of red meat which I’m it’s just funny of doctors telling and I eat a lot of red meat rebuild your iron stores yeah strange the way that many medicine comes full.

Comes Full Circle, So I Think

it’s so poetically ironic that a book which the process of once helped you to transform your life, which the reflection of twice helped you to take yourself out of a lesson that you’d forgotten and the purpose of publishing a third time has been your reason to transcend the most traumatic experience that you’ve been through in your life. But this thing. This book is is the anchor that you’re attached to at least it seems like that in the recent history of your life that’s a very interesting.

Summary

Kemal Rava returns to the show to talk about his struggles with depression . Kemal says he’s not alone. Look you’re not alone, he says. I go through the same thing and then but this is what I do to get over it.& I want to share that as well. Look like we will there times when we when we fall, what do we do we step up again and knowing what works and we do it again let me go back at it that’s part of life. I never sent out to be the guy, but like I wrote the book on it right and like that.& was from my experience and I wrote it from my own experience. I feel like we’re gonna have something really special in front of us today. I hope I hope too I hope so too man hope to live up to it. The only thing that saved me was that I’m gonna live up for it. I don’t want to get back into the show….. Click here to read more and watch the full video