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Did You Did You Have Any Struggles With

God. I mean was there any of that wrestling so that I had a moment and in the moment was I’ve said this before so I guess it’s a matter of public record. Now that the internet exists but the I remember sitting on my couch and this is now at this point. This is after surgery I know I’ve gotten malignant brain cancer. I know they’ve only given me two to three years to live.

I Know All Of This Im In Radiation

on low dose chemo moving towards high-dose chemo and I was sitting on my couch and this was a weird. The hardest thing in the world for me was to be around my kids like it was just not like I wanted to withdraw. I mean I wanted to just put in headphones and listen to music and. back because just there was so much loss. I was feeling and and so I’m sitting on the couch one day and you know this is all Christmas time and and so my wife had taken these Christmas cards with everybody’s pictured on them.

• christmas
• prayed
• cancer
• forgive
• feeling

I Dont Know When That Started But

everybody you know since you know pictures of their family and their dog or and there was a there was a picture of a family that we’re friends with or my wife’s friends with the wife and the the guy has had multiple affairs on his wife and is just just unbelievably self–centered and wicked to his wife and rude to his daughters and in just and I remember looking at that picture and going really me like I’m the one with brain keen are you seriously. I’m the one with and I fell to them very quickly. The was gracious because I very quickly remembered Luke 15 and the older brother saying I never you know I never you never even gave me a goat. I didn’t bring prostitutes in your land. I didn’t and the hint and I felt wicked in the moment and you know said you’re right Lord forgive me and strengthen me and there’s a passage in Nehemiah, where Nehemiah‘s trying to rebuild the wall the breached wall of Jerusalem and while he’s trying to do that.

• trying issues going prayed
• trying issues going prayed lord
• christmas cards everybody pictured
• couch day know christmas
• christmas time wife taken

There Are All These Other Issues

that are going on and he prayed now Lord strengthen my hands and and that kind of became a verse for me that I just kind of put in my gut and asked the Holy Spirit to just let me marinate in that text and on my hands be strong here I want to praise you and make much of you. In this journey you’ve been so you’ve dealt so generously with me that how could I praise you and everything’s awesome and then not when things don’t look like they’re going my way and so that that was kind of the moment and other than that moment. I don’t know that I had another one that was kind of early on the kind of divine Spanking. I guess I got you know they get a corner and think about that moment where the Lord kind of disciplined my heart to think rightly about this part of the journey.

Summary

I remember sitting on my couch and this is now at this point.& This is after surgery I know I’ve gotten malignant brain cancer.& I know they’ve only given me two to three years to live.& The hardest thing in the world for me was to be around my kids like it was just not like I wanted to withdraw.& There are all these other issues that are that are related to God. Did you did you have any struggles with God.& Was there any of that wrestling so that I had a moment and in the moment was I’ve said this before so I guess it’s a matter of public record. I remember looking at that picture and going really me like I’m the one with brain keen are you seriously.& He said you’re right Lord forgive me and strengthen me and I felt wicked in the moments. I didn’t and the hint and I didn’t and the idea and I said you’ve got the hint’…. Click here to read more and watch the full video