Video Creator’s Channel The Critical Drinker

Normally I Like To Start My Videos With Some

charming anecdote about my life or a witty metaphor that neatly segues into the topic of my video. But today’s topic doesn’t deserve that kind of verbal lubrication suppo corrupt because I’m going in hard and fast on this one. The new Star Trek movies bleep suck all three of them and Don’t even get me started on discovery. This sucked to varying degrees and for various reasons, but without exception they’re all utterly mindless dull creatively bankrupt disasters that have almost nothing to do with the original franchise. Beyond the title and character names they worked so hard to sponge off and the crown jewel in this shit-covered monument to mediocrity has to be star trek into darkness why because it takes the very best and most revered movie of the entire Star Trek franchise bends it over a table.

Has Its Way With It To

such a horrific degree that the original needed to be booked into a fancy London clinic from major reconstructive surgery Remember Star Trek to the Wrath of Can remember when Star Trek films actually dealt with mature themes and characters in a clever thought-provoking manner remember when space battles had some weight and strategy and significance behind them. Remember when James Kirk didn’t sprint around everywhere like a clueless bleep gotta hate movies today into darkness is the very epitome of everything wrong with modern filmmaking, especially the tactic of endlessly remaking and rebooting movies that already hit the mark decades earlier movies that did a lot more with a lot less movies written by people who actually had some skill and creativity and passion for what they did. Unlike the soulless wanna be intellectual bleep were stuck with no anyway it’s only a. of time before my liver packs in so let’s get this bleep show on the road. I’m gonna break this plot down for you and I’m talking break into darkness begins with Kirk and UK having a wacky adventure on a planet that’s about to get blown up by a giant volcano and because this is new Trek.

Everyones Running Around And Screaming And Theres

a million different things all happening at once because we can’t have the audience slaughter even for a second and actually think about the nonsense. They’re seeing just keep bombarding them with frantic Madcap Bleep and hope they don’t know us anyway. They do some science stuff what the bleep is a cold fusion device and Kirk saves the planet. But then Pike finds out about it and he’s mad because Kirk arrest his ship and crew to violate the prime directive. He decides that Kirk’s too reckless and arrogant to be captain of the Enterprise, so he strips him of his rank and sends him back to Starfleet_Academy” target=”_blank” rel=”noreferrer noopener”>Starfleet Academy like a complete chump wow.

This Is Quite The Setback.

I’m sure this major change of command structure will have big long lasting implications for the story going forward. I never mind. You know it’s interesting that new Trek portrays James Kirk as some dumb reckless devil-may-care hotshot who takes insane risks for the sake of personal glory and flatter ignores the rules whenever it suits him. Original Kirk was never like that he was a smart, capable and compassionate leader who considered his options carefully before acting.

He Respected The Chain Of Command And Only

disobeyed orders. When there was no alternative Yeah. He was kind of a ladies-man in his younger days, but his first priority was always the safety of his ship and crew. He took risks when he had to, but they were always calculated ones No. He’s played like a goofy hyperactive child, always running everywhere getting into bar fights trying to provoke people that he should be working with lashing out because he can’t control his emotions and antagonizing superior officers because he can’t handle Authority even the Kobayashi Maru test which give us one of the best insights into original Kirk’s personality his refusal to accept defeat and his ability to think outside the box was played for laughs in the new Trek.

See Its Funny Because Hes Eaten

an apple like he doesn’t give a bleep I mean he couldn’t possibly make it more obvious that he was cheating in the simulator bleep off film and that. Pretty much sums up new tracks entire approach to Storytellin, Clever thoughtful and patient character development has been replaced by goofy action and slapstick humor that Lanza / as well as a bleep horse on a greased top water slide Anyway. I digress so we flushed over to London, where Doctor Strange shows up and bribes a security guard to blow up a secret Starfleet research facility in exchange for curing his terminally ill daughter of whatever’s wrong with her what could be going on here? I wonder then we meet Robocop, who’s given up on busting criminals in Detroit and become an admiral and Starfleet. He convenes a big meeting at Starfleet headquarters and for some reason Kirk gets invited along. Even though he got demoted and he’s totally not worthy of being a top-level classified briefing like this nah whatever so we learned that the man responsible for.

London Bombing Is John Harrison.

He’s a former Starfleet officer that’s gone rogue and turned into a terrorist for no apparent reason what an absolute heal the men in the briefing room are the captains of all the starships in the region and their mission is to hunt Harrison down and kill the bleep out of him. Robocop explains that they haven’t detected any warp signatures leaving the system, which means Harrison is probably still on earth wait what no warp signatures a on the central planet of the entire Federation wouldn’t there be ships coming and going literally every hour of every day and even if that’s true and he is still on this planet. Why do you need starship captains to hunt down a single fugitive? I mean isn’t that a job for the police force or something that would be like deploying the UK Navy to track. down a serial killer Anyway? Those are questions for a movie that actually gives a bleep about logic and plot development.

The Point Of This Scene Is To

get everyone together so that Doctor Strange can show up and kill some of them including Pike Robocop gets mad about this so he reinstates Kirk as Captain and sends him off to kill Dr. strange wait what was the actual point in any of this? So Kirk got demoted at the start of the movie only to be reinstated like 15 minutes later, as if nothing happened why doesn’t this render the first 15 minutes a completely useless waste of time Wow sure hope this movie doesn’t make a habit of introducing major events with permanent implications only to totally undo them minutes later, but drinker you wildly intoxicated yet strikingly sophisticated Rocontour. I hear you say Kirk’s Demotion was a way of setting up a character flaw for him to overcome at the climax of the movie establishes him as a self-ish overconfident man used to playing fasten lists with his responsibilities as Captain he’s content to take crazy risks because he assumes everything a workout well-contrived argument that character art might have worked if the movie actually forced Newkirk to see the human cost of the risks. He takes and become a more mature and responsible commander as a result, and what do we get instead remember in Wrath of Khan. When original Kirk visits sick bay up to the first battle and sees all those young men lying injured and Dyin because of his screw-up remember how the suffering of his crew forced him to face up to past mistakes and acknowledge his own failings ultimately emerging as a stronger.

Man As A Result, Yeah Well

forget about that because that movie actually understood character motivations and the arcs they need to go through in order to grow and change. On the other hand, into darkness understands how to stage an action scene and make stuff explode and that’s pretty much it anyway. Doctor Strange has teleported halfway across the galaxy to the Klingon homeworld of Chronos because Transwarp Beaming is totally a thing now apparently so Robocop gives Kirk a bunch of experiment or new torpedoes and orders him to blow strange up because you know normal torpedoes aren’t powerful enough to kill one man I guess but then Shaun of the Dead gets angry about these new torpedoes because he doesn’t trust them or something why does an engineer even have a say in weapons design isn’t in his job to manage the engine room and that’s it. Now whatever so he leaves and some chump named Carol Marcus is left in charge of the torpedoes. Remember Carol Marcus from Wrath of Khan.

Remember How She Was A Peace-Loving Scientist And

an old flame of Kirk’s who resented the militarized Starfleet interfering with her potentially galaxy change in project to Terraform uninhabitable planets Yeah well forget about her because now she’s a hot young weapons designer that’s never met Kirk before and has no personal connection to him or even a reason for being involved in this bleep off film, so they get to Chronos and Oh no the enterprise what drives Breakstone was Shaun of the Dead when you need him Oh yeah they had to separate him from the others, so he could pull a Deus ex engineer out of his arse later anyway at least they phoned dr. streams on the planet below so their mission can still go ahead just fire those torpedoes and head home Mateys Probably don’t want to hang around in Klingon space a second longer than you absolutely need to, but Kirk’s like Nah I’ll be fine Sooey heads down to the planet to lay the smackdown on strange in person remember in Wrath of Khan UK. Kirk and Carr never actually had a scene together and all their interactions were done via a view screen because you know their conflict was compelling enough by itself that they didn’t have to fight it out with a stupid fight scene No I never mind so they go down and all who ragazze with them and our bother-I need to have another rant. Why Rant, why do these new movies insist on shoehorn in UK into every possible scene and situation now Oh who knows a communications officer. She was never that important in the original movies.

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She Never Really Got Involved In

dangerous away missions and major plot lines. She was good at a job, but her job meant being on the bridge and doing communications stuff and that was it now. It seems like she’s always hanging around where she isn’t wanted always having some argument with Spock over there totally forced relationship or back talking Kirk when he’s supposed to be your superior officer does the concept of rank your chain of command mean anything to these morons. NK] was always supposed to be the third member of the Holy Trinity back in the day and it wasn’t done just for shits and giggles. Giggles, he was a major thematic counterpoint to Spock.

Nk] Represented Passion And Emotion.

He was the moral center of the trio, whereas Spock was the logical and pragmatic one. Spock saw the solution to a problem more clearly because he wasn’t influenced by empathy and compassion, but UK better understood the implications and the human cost of that solution. As a result, Kirk was the well balanced well-rounded individual positioned between these two extremes, a guy who would listen to both points.

Summary

The new Star Trek movies bleep suck all three of them and don’t even get me started on discovery . Without exception they’re all utterly mindless dull creatively bankrupt disasters that have almost nothing to do with the original franchise . The crown jewel in this monument to mediocrity has to be star trek into darkness why because it takes the very best and most revered movie of the entire Star Trek franchise bends it over a table. The original needed to be booked into a fancy London clinic from major reconstructive surgery. Remember when Star Trek films actually dealt with mature themes and characters in a clever thought-provoking manner remember when space battles had some weight and strategy and significance behind them . Remember when James Kirk didn’t sprint around everywhere like a clueless bleep gotta hate movies today into darkness.& Remember when Kirk didn’t sprints around everywhere. remember when he didn’t run around everywhere . The original film needed to have its way with it to such a horrific degree. Remember Star Trek to the…. Click here to read more and watch the full video